I have tried to write this post a couple of times this week. It always ends up going from a simple update to like, an entire back story on my relationship with food which I’ve written about approximately one hundred times, at least.
So, I am going to try to keep this one short! 🙂
I have been kind of like whatever, blah, all summer. Never would have guessed that, right? I am the queen of “I’ll start Monday” or “Tomorrow.” I have actually procrastinated everything in life as long as I can remember. I’m also coming off an addiction to diet soda and sugar! This is week 3 of no diet (or regular, obvi) soda!!
Sunday we didn’t go to church and I was sitting on the couch, talking to Andy and drinking my 3rd cup of coffee (maybe 4th? I’m an addict). I thought, you’re sitting here, holding yourself back. You are your only obstacle, Kandice.
Self realization is a beeyotch sometimes. Necessary though! I have all these goals and dreams and plans and I’m ‘tomorrowing’ them to death.
I changed clothes and put on my sneakers and went downstairs to our home gym before I could change my mind. It felt really good to do what I love, or love to hate, on my own terms with my goals in my head. I have had the hardest time over the last couple of years getting out of my own head. Saying that being depressed makes it easy to skip working out and eating right sounds like an excuse, a crock of crap! But, it is true and it is really hard to break that cycle.
Feeling great from those lovely exercise endorphins, I went ahead and prepped a ton of chicken for the week (for me, my family is all but boycotting chicken at this point). I ran to the store and bought salad stuff, and more canned green beans (my favorite go-to quick veggie for a cooked meal).
Having all my meals prepped this week has been so great. Even when they’re not really prepped! Like today, I have a chicken breast in a baggie and I grabbed a can of green beans from the cabinet as I walked out the door this morning (running late, for the 2nd time this week).
Every morning this week (except today, I thought it was going to rain) I have taken Drake for a walk, a mile or more. I lifted on my lunch break one day this week and I did back & shoulders last night after dinner.
I feel so good when I’m consistent (who doesn’t?).
This week I have been practicing intermittent fasting as well. It wasn’t intentional at first since I am not counting macros, but it does actually make my life easier. I am breaking my fast between 11 and noon. Then having chicken breast and a salad/green veggie for lunch, and sometimes a piece of fruit as well. Mid afternoon snack has been different every day, greek yogurt, a protein bar, another piece of fruit. Dinner, a chicken breast and green vegetable. Last night I had a serving of goldfish and some crunchy peanut butter for a pre-bedtime snack. I was starving after a late workout, but I have been trying to not eat after dinner. I will start counting macros again in a few weeks. Right now I am just keeping the food ‘clean’ and the portions small. Andy said yesterday, that I was “taking it all the way back to Savannah days.” Yes, babe, yes I am. I hung up one of my dresses from then to keep me inspired since I’ll see it every day.. a nice reminder of who I used to be and love so much and how it is possible to be that again.
The sudden uptick in motivation is from a couple of sources. I have really started studying for the NASM CPT. NEWSFLASH PEOPLE nobody wants a chubby personal trainer. On the for real, I think you lose credibility when you don’t practice what you preach.
Next: going through old photos looking for a specific one of Rach and me from a beach vacation… I saw many, many old photos of myself in the process and I really, truly miss myself. Health was one of my main priorities at that time in my life, and I could tell by how great I looked and the light in my eyes and glow of my skin. I even tried to make my dad change his ways, I was so passionate about fueling our bodies properly. You can read all about that here (the idea of the project), here (day one), here (mid-week update) and here (the end result), my little Project Shut Up and Eat.
For that period of time in life, I was truly happy with myself internally and externally. I’d like to get back there.
Another: job security. There’s always a gym, always a job, always a network, always a potential client. Another: you never feel like you’re “working” if your job is something you love. I mean obviously you feel like you’re working sometimes, it is necessary. But I want to spend the rest of my life enjoying my job for the most part. I have learned over the last couple of years that sitting at a desk in an office is not what I want for my life.
Maybe just one more: I’m a role model. My kids are watching my every move. I can’t encourage them to eat healthy and take care of their bodies if I’m not. So here we are. 🙂 Kandice is focused again.